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When The Wife was pregnant, Pat was concerned that he might not be “cool” anymore. At least as “cool” as a 30-something white dude that abandoned the big city for the suburban life, got an SUV and knew all the words to Gin n Juice could be. Then, he found Dad Life. He knew he would still have his mind on his money and his money on his mind.


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When my son was born, I didn’t know what to expect – at all. I didn’t want to assume it would be like the old school movies… Mother in perfect makeup and screaming, father in scrubs, doctors and nurses everywhere, things going beep, and father chanting, “Push it out, shove it out, waaaaaay out!”

I was very surprised that it was really nothing like that.

In reality, I played music from my phone to a little bluetooth speaker (Pink’s The Truth About Love… not super appropriate, but that’s what The Wife wanted). There was a little screaming. I counted during contractions. The doctor peaked in every once in a while on the nurse. The Wife pushed. And I may have made the push it out, shove it out joke once… once.

When the moment came, I was honestly expecting them to spank my newborn baby’s bottom. I don’t know why I was anticipating that and why I felt anxious about it. I waited for it, and it never came… thankfully. And I’ll tell you why.

When your child is born, you can’t possibly plan for how you will feel. People can tell you how they felt, what they realized, etc. You will experience things you never imagined in that moment. One feeling is guaranteed. An overwhelming feeling of the need to protect your family. At all cost.