Milestones: Parenting “Tips” from Non-Experts

As an at-home parent, I witness the development process firsthand. Milestones happen every day. Some happen to suck.

When I ask my son, “The Understudy”, to do something he doesn’t want to do, he walks away quickly. Today he made his first real decision and he vocalized it. As his father, it is my duty to make sure he knows that I will always have the upper hand. I am proud of the defiant little monster that he became today.

Welcome to the game, rookie.

The Boy Who Cried iPad

meltdownMy youngest son has been going through a “phase.” I don’t know when these things start or if they ever end, but whenever this one feels like ending it’s welcome, too.

My wife and I were on our porch the other night speculating about the many reasons why our 2 y/o was acting like such a child. I generally blame teething and will continue to do so in to his teens. As if on cue, we hear the piercing scream of our youngest child. It was not the “I’m trying to get your attention” cry, it was a full on “My life in danger parents, assist me!”

We rushed to his room to find a hysterical mess. He sobbed as we asked repeatedly, “What is wrong?” We encouraged him to use his words, but then he began to wretch. We have rushed our children to the bathroom enough times to look like a well-oiled machine. We made it to the toilet puke-free and began the parent list of diseases we have recently seen on the news. It appeared as if nothing was wrong, but the extreme need with which he wailed sent my parenting radar off the grid.

He stood up. He sat down. He pulled out half a roll of toilet paper.

I said, “I want to help! Use your words, I can’t help if you don’t use your words!”

Through a desperate heave my youngest says, “Words.”

“Yes, words! Words. What is wrong?”

With a pitiful gasp he said, “hipab.”

“I don’t…”

“HIPAB!”

“What are you…”

“I PAB”

“iPad??”

“HIPAB!”

“Phase” doesn’t do justice for the boy who cried iPad. Then again “love” isn’t quite big enough either.

My Wife the Cheese Eating Vegan

Cheese eating vegan memeEating meat does not keep me up at night. I think I would be capable of hunting and gathering my family’s dinner in post-apocalyptic Texas. I also think, my two and four year old boys should make their own breakfast. I’m not sure which I’ll find the answer to first.

A while ago, my wife tells me at the dinner table she wants to be a vegan. My oldest son says, “What’s a began?” His younger brother also gave her a quizzical look while smearing ketchup in his hair.

“Vee, Vv. Vegan.” I replied.

“What’s that?” he puzzled.

Approaching age 5 my oldest son is starting to ask questions. He’s always done that, but now he’s actually remembering things that we have talked about before. It’s great, except that I have to be more creative about making snide remarks.

My wife interjected, “It’s a person who doesn’t eat meat, only yummy vegetables.”

He cocked one eyebrow and said, “Why?”

I took of bite of my chicken and nodded in agreement. I’m not against vegans; I’m against a house full of vegetables that my kids won’t eat. Maybe I’m a bad parent. Maybe my kids don’t like vegetables.

I said, “Ok, fine by me.”

She glared as if she had heard, “Fine by me if you want to quit eating delicious meat. You won’t make it till lunch. I’ll have a double baconator with cheese waiting for you.” (For the record, I did NOT say that and I do not appreciate feminine telepathy.) She knew that I had my reservations, but she assured me that she would fight the self-righteousness newly bestowed upon her and that I could eat all of the death-meat I wanted.

I never doubted her being able to give up meat. It’s the cheese. She knew by becoming a vegan she would have to give up delicious, stinky, funky, blow your socks off cheese. I love my wife dearly, but I have never known her to be a “stick-to-it” person. In nine years of marriage, she has purchased books for the South Beach, Adkins, Hollywood, Blood Type, and Morning Banana diets. I recently had a garage sale and I offered a dollar to anyone who would take them from me. There were no takers, but somehow I ended up with a copy of P90X to complete my collection. Continue reading

mothers day gift diy

6 DIY Mother’s Day Gift Ideas From Dads

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Mother’s Day is a great opportunity for Dads to get creative and make some homemade gifts that have that extra special touch of appreciation. We gathered some of the best posts from our fellow Dad Bloggers to give you some DIY gift ideas.

 

Mother’s Day Crafts: Eggceptionally Easy Tulip Garden

designerdaddyDad Blogger: Designer Daddy

If you have left over plastic eggs from Easter, Designer Daddy has a great way to recycle them instead of throwing them away. Here is a quick and easy craft that the kids can help with. Designer Daddy provides the easy steps and even a handy-dandy template for the “cutting-a-leaf-freehand-impaired.”

 

The Simplest, Easiest, Most Meaningful, Best Mother’s Day Gift Of All Time

dadcampDad Blogger: DadCAMP

A few weeks ago, DadCAMP’s wife dropped a gift hint by sharing a link to a great new Mother’s Day alternative to buying Hallmark cards each year. The idea was to create a Mom’s Book that can be used every year to would chronicle and preserve the “cards” from the kids. Read DadCAMP’s story and see his version of the Mom’s Book.

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Don’t Buy Another Mother’s Day Card

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How great would it be to not buy another Mother’s Day card that will probably end up in a box, on a shelf, or (eek) in the trash? What if you could make something super simple and amazing that Mom can keep forever and look at any time with every single Mother’s Day “card” all in one place?

Make a Mother’s Day Journal! It’s so brilliant, there is no way we would have come up with it!

MATERIALS

journal1*Journal
*Stickers or anything else you want to put on the cover and/or back
*Mod Podge (I like the antique)
*Foam brush

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Wine Cork Cell Phone Charging Station

Wine Cork Phone Charging Station

Do you have a cell phone that needs to be charged and like to drink?  If you answered yes, then I have the project for you. I made the one you see above for my wife on her last birthday. She had been saving wine corks for years, writing the date we drank it and the event it was for in permanent marker. She got tired of the cords and wires on the kitchen counter, so I decided to put the evidence of our love for wine on display Continue reading

Wooden Photo Paperweight

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As a stay-at-home dad, I often send cute pictures to The Wife while she’s at work. After hearing her say, “I miss that face,” so many times, I thought she should have many of his faces at work. So, I got a small wood cube from a craft store and transferred some photos of his face onto each side. Then, while she’s at work, she can turn the cube around and see six of his faces. Continue reading