My Wife the Cheese Eating Vegan

Cheese eating vegan memeEating meat does not keep me up at night. I think I would be capable of hunting and gathering my family’s dinner in post-apocalyptic Texas. I also think, my two and four year old boys should make their own breakfast. I’m not sure which I’ll find the answer to first.

A while ago, my wife tells me at the dinner table she wants to be a vegan. My oldest son says, “What’s a began?” His younger brother also gave her a quizzical look while smearing ketchup in his hair.

“Vee, Vv. Vegan.” I replied.

“What’s that?” he puzzled.

Approaching age 5 my oldest son is starting to ask questions. He’s always done that, but now he’s actually remembering things that we have talked about before. It’s great, except that I have to be more creative about making snide remarks.

My wife interjected, “It’s a person who doesn’t eat meat, only yummy vegetables.”

He cocked one eyebrow and said, “Why?”

I took of bite of my chicken and nodded in agreement. I’m not against vegans; I’m against a house full of vegetables that my kids won’t eat. Maybe I’m a bad parent. Maybe my kids don’t like vegetables.

I said, “Ok, fine by me.”

She glared as if she had heard, “Fine by me if you want to quit eating delicious meat. You won’t make it till lunch. I’ll have a double baconator with cheese waiting for you.” (For the record, I did NOT say that and I do not appreciate feminine telepathy.) She knew that I had my reservations, but she assured me that she would fight the self-righteousness newly bestowed upon her and that I could eat all of the death-meat I wanted.

I never doubted her being able to give up meat. It’s the cheese. She knew by becoming a vegan she would have to give up delicious, stinky, funky, blow your socks off cheese. I love my wife dearly, but I have never known her to be a “stick-to-it” person. In nine years of marriage, she has purchased books for the South Beach, Adkins, Hollywood, Blood Type, and Morning Banana diets. I recently had a garage sale and I offered a dollar to anyone who would take them from me. There were no takers, but somehow I ended up with a copy of P90X to complete my collection. Continue reading

mothers day gift diy

6 DIY Mother’s Day Gift Ideas From Dads

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Mother’s Day is a great opportunity for Dads to get creative and make some homemade gifts that have that extra special touch of appreciation. We understand that not everyone prefers going down the DIY route, so there are loads of gift ideas you could buy instead using online coupons from places like PromoCodeWatch. If however, you’d like to give the DIY gift a go, we’ve gathered some of the best posts from our fellow Dad Bloggers to give you some DIY gift ideas.

 

Mother’s Day Crafts: Eggceptionally Easy Tulip Garden

designerdaddyDad Blogger: Designer Daddy

If you have left over plastic eggs from Easter, Designer Daddy has a great way to recycle them instead of throwing them away. Here is a quick and easy craft that the kids can help with. Designer Daddy provides the easy steps and even a handy-dandy template for the “cutting-a-leaf-freehand-impaired.”

 

The Simplest, Easiest, Most Meaningful, Best Mother’s Day Gift Of All Time

dadcampDad Blogger: DadCAMP

A few weeks ago, DadCAMP’s wife dropped a gift hint by sharing a link to a great new Mother’s Day alternative to buying Hallmark cards each year. The idea was to create a Mom’s Book that can be used every year to would chronicle and preserve the “cards” from the kids. Read DadCAMP’s story and see his version of the Mom’s Book.

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Don’t Buy Another Mother’s Day Card

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How great would it be to not buy another Mother’s Day card that will probably end up in a box, on a shelf, or (eek) in the trash? What if you could make something super simple and amazing that Mom can keep forever and look at any time with every single Mother’s Day “card” all in one place?

Make a Mother’s Day Journal! It’s so brilliant, there is no way we would have come up with it!

MATERIALS

journal1*Journal
*Stickers or anything else you want to put on the cover and/or back
*Mod Podge (I like the antique)
*Foam brush

Continue reading

Wine Cork Cell Phone Charging Station

Wine Cork Phone Charging Station

Do you have a cell phone that needs to be charged and like to drink?  If you answered yes, then I have the project for you. I made the one you see above for my wife on her last birthday. She had been saving wine corks for years, writing the date we drank it and the event it was for in permanent marker. She got tired of the cords and wires on the kitchen counter, so I decided to put the evidence of our love for wine on display Continue reading

Wooden Photo Paperweight

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As a stay-at-home dad, I often send cute pictures to The Wife while she’s at work. After hearing her say, “I miss that face,” so many times, I thought she should have many of his faces at work. So, I got a small wood cube from a craft store and transferred some photos of his face onto each side. Then, while she’s at work, she can turn the cube around and see six of his faces. Continue reading

The Fat Bastards

Somewhere around the year 1995, there existed a band that planned to take over the world. An acid rock band made up of misfit high school students that called themselves, “The Fat Bastards.” I saw them “practice” a couple times. They were very good… at being proud of their band. Let’s be honest, it is possible that they were the worst band in the history of high school bands. I don’t know, and who am I to judge? After all, I think that we here at Just a Dad 247 are the funniest dad bloggers to ever live. Is it possible we are the worst dad bloggers in the history of dad bloggers? You be the judge.

What I do know is this… those guys, those “Fat Bastards,” they grew up. And they are all still friends. And now, they have kids. And they are some of the best kid-picture-chroniclers to ever live. Some of the band members have allowed us exclusive permission into their vault of kid pics, where we may pick and choose the hidden gems to release upon the world. Therefore, Just a Dad 247 is proud to present, the “Fat Bastards” vault of kid pics.

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braaaaiiinnnsss

And this, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, may be the only surviving picture of the infamous “Fat Bastards.”

the fat bastards

Stay tuned for more gems from the “Fat Bastards” vault of kid pics.

Pucker

Everyone told me that one of the biggest kicks I would get out of having a kid was documenting their reactions to new foods. I have a tendancy to be a bit compulsive (is that possible?) and videoed every single new food that The Understudy ate. Every time the result was the same; no reaction, no funny face. Peas, avocados, sweet potatoes, zucchini… nothing.

I was certain that I would put together a greatest-hits video and be instantly famous. And every time, The Understudy looked at me as if to say, “Is that it? That all you got? Am I here to amuse you?”

Then, I decided to up my game. I got my phone ready, I convinced The Wife that he wouldn’t be harmed in the making of the video, and with a grin on my face and a hint of victory in my eyes, I gave The Understudy a lemon. A LEMON! Why didn’t I think of this before!?! Victory was sure to be mine.

Then, he ate two slices of Lemon and made the sign for more.

The Understudy: 17

Daddy: 0

Why couldn’t it have just been like this?

 

This is the face of mockery.

lemon1lemon2lemon3