Pat’s Guaca – Guacamole

Guac money shot

Did you know that the word “avocado” derives from the Aztec word, “ahuácatl” meaning testicles? Now you do! My love of avocados started with my lucrative career as a very important man in the burrito industry. Guacamole is an essential ingredient for any party, gathering, sporting event and any time you want to impress the crowd with your culinary skills and sense of humor. Plus, the black olives will blow their minds!


Guaca ingredients

5 Avocados (large)
1 Tomato (diced, no pulp or seeds)
1 Jalapeno (diced)
1/2 Red Onion (diced)
1/2 Bunch of Cilantro (cut the Easy Way)
8 Black Olives (diced)
2 tbsp Lime Juice
2 tsp Salt


IMG_5192guac ingredients2*Dice 1/2 of a red onion
*Dice one tomato (remove pulp and seeds)
*Cut 1/2 bunch of cilantro (try this method)
*Dice 8 black olives
*Dice one jalapeno


*Cut the avocados in half and remove the pit. Scoop the avocado meat into a large mixing bowl.
*Mash the avocados until creamy leaving some small chunks of avocado.
*Add the lime juice and then all of the other ingredients.
*VERY IMPORTANT! – Use a spatula to fold all the ingredients into the avocados. (Do not use the masher, you will mash flavor out of the ingredients)
*Once the guac has been thoroughly mixed, the most important step is to taste.

guac mashguac mixguac 2IMG_5207
Avocados taste different throughout the year depending on the season and where they are from. Some are hard, soft, watery, super flavorful, etc. When I’m tasting my guac, I’m looking for (obviously) all of the ingredients, but I want to taste the salt and citrus. If I don’t get the taste, I add a bit of whichever was needed. The recipe can be different every time depending on the avocados. Try it until you like it.

Once you are satisfied with the taste, announce that the guacamole is ready with pride. Might I suggest my favorite phrase? “Guaca – Guaca!” (Pronounced, Wocka – Wocka!)

One last tip:

guac 4When storing the guac, we all know it tends to turn brown. It doesn’t mean the guac is bad, it’s simply the avocados oxidizing. The best way to store it is by using plastic wrap and push it down onto the surface of the guac removing any air pockets. (Don’t just drape the plastic over the top)

Happy eating, my friend!


2 thoughts on “Pat’s Guaca – Guacamole

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